Now That's A Sunday...

*BING*
The door of the lift slid open. I walked out, fear and anticipation both on my mind. Unlike always the fear and anticipation was different from the usual. The fear was of the result that was going to follow, and the anticipation was of the horrible paper I was going to face. Yes, I was walking into a classroom to give my test.

It is no normal test. Normal people don't give that test. A lot has been said and written about this test. The test has been mentioned in many many blogs (Mine and Nishit's : P). This test spoils at least one, sometimes two of our Sundays. Frankly speaking it is a torturous test. First are the timings. Nine in the morning to Five in the evening- the first reason why it is not a normal test. The test contains two papers- one is 9 AM to 12 PM and then the second paper is 2 PM to 5 PM.

Some of you might say that it seems easy. You'll might say that two hours break is given so its fair if they keep two papers. However, these tests, they play games with you. And they are cruel games. The break period is the most dangerous period in that whole day. Here is how the day goes-

So you go to your designated class. The pressure is mounting, the repercussions are huge. Plus, the atmosphere makes it worse. You are surrounded by people who ask you questions which make you feel like you are just born right now. It is ironical that, when you ask these same people how the test was, they'll answer, considering that we are born just now. You almost feel like a zombie!

And here comes the question paper. You read the first page, you clap your hands, admiring the question but doing nothing to solve it, and you turn it. This cycle repeats many times. The only difference is that the claps in your mind gradually become abuses.

You have now been through the paper, thinking that you read all questions, but actually not even looking at some, out of sheer disgust. You look at the time- its only been an hour. You excuse yourself to the washroom and chuckle silently as you realize what kind of games life plays with you (: P) You splash water on your face, you drink coffee from the canteen, hoping that something will put your mind into action. You return to your seat, ready for another staring competition with your question paper (You can guess who wins). You try solving the paper again,  this time you do get some questions that you couldn't solve. You look at the time again. Its been one and  half hour. Still too early to leave. You start looking around. You see some people sleeping, some doing the same thing that you are, some people playing on their phones and some actually solving. You want to save the last ounce of self respect that you have left, you don't wanna be the first person to leave the class. So you wait, till someone goes. Now, there's only one hour left for the paper to end. The coast is clear. You can leave now.

You give your paper to the examiner, who is not surprised. Some people hardly look at you, and some are relieved because now even they can leave with their self respect intact.

Now, your break is three hours long. This is a trick time. You need to fill your stomach, but you need to study  too. What do you do? Stomach of course! You have a good snack with more than an hour remaining for the second paper. So you go the classroom and chat with your friends. You think of studying, but you console yourself saying that- you'll forget what you already know (not realizing that you don't know anything dumbass! ) You think about the first paper, feeling miserable, wanting to make up with the second paper. But hopes are not high.

So now the break is over, you've had your fun. Its time to get serious. You are handed in the second paper. You solve the first question and you get it. You think - Wow, that unusual! You gradually start getting some more questions (which means 7 in 20) but then there is a problem. It is 2 PM in the afternoon, the sun is warm, your stomach is full with the burger- perfect ingredients for a nap. Just as you are hitting form, your sleep comes in between. You try hard to keep your eyes open. You go the washroom, and you drink coffee too. Now you're awake. You go back to your seat and start solving. You get some sums, but some you just don't. You've been through your paper twice and its just been two hours. It is time to hurt your ego again.

So you go the hard way, becoming a leader and inspiration of many, as you lead the way in going out first.

You look out of the corridor feeling horrible, knowing that this is not you, knowing that you can be better than this. You are determined you won't let this happen again. You have  a plan to do better now. Your self respect has been hurt and you can't bear it anymore. You know that you have to rise from the ashes.

"Coming to Juhu Beach to play? " asks a friend. And you forget everything and go to the beach!

That's IIT

P.S- Events mentioned above are injurious to your career and your relationship with your parents. Please do not try them in real life.

All It Takes Is A Little PUSH....

Notice a change? Yup! My title is longer and a bit different from my usual ones. Now the title is inspired work actually. See I have been watching "The Dark Knight" a lot these days, and loved the dialogues. So I wanted to use atleast one of them. ( Its an awesome movie by the way! Do watch it if you have not.) And there is the part in the end where the Joker (Heath Ledger) tells Batman "Madness is like Gravity... All it needs is a little PUSH!"
But I am not going to talk about madness today, something else.

Here I was, sitting in a place which I would not like to mention (:P), thinking about what to write. As often as I have noticed, whenever I do write something on my blog, its always related to the period which I am having. So, a couple of months ago, when I was writing all the humorous posts, I was quite happy and care-free about life (which doesn't mean I was not responsible!) And nowadays only serious thoughts have been coming in my mind!


So here I was, sitting  "somewhere", doing some introspection. As I was going through my past month, I noticed that academically, I had started the month badly, and had ended it very well (which hopefully gets reflected  in my results :P). I also remembered the lull period in between, which saw me utterly demoralized, low on self-confidence and doubting my abilities (Yes, that is what IIT does to you :P). However, after talking it over to a person, I got lifted, motivated and begun to work as hard as ever. Which is what got me wondering as to what that person had told me, which got me so charged up and motivated.

As I begun to trace back the conversation, I collected hazy memories and could hardly remember the words told to me. Hardly a sign of an important conversation right?

Isn't a motivating speech supposed to be remembered for atleast more than a month? I mean, if it got you charged up, motivated, raring-to-go, would you not remember it? However, as hard as I tried to remember (which worsened things, because when you try to remember something hard, it always ends up being forgotten) I just could not recollect what that person had told me.

So was that conversation not motivating or useful? Not at all, it got me motivated and still keeps me motivated even though I don't remember it. So what was it?

After a lot of thinking, I finally came to a conclusion. And the conclusion was that- Along with the motivation given by the person, there was one thing which was extremely important which was needed to complement the motivation. And that was "Intent". Yes it was the intent that made the difference. It was also because of the fact that I WANTED to be motivated and I WANTED the things that I aimed for, that I actually got motivated. Of course, I'll not take anything away from the person who did try to motivate me!

The point is that you can bring in the Best Oratar in this world or the Best Motivational Speaker, but if the intent is not there, its never gonna happen!!

The other thing that I got out of the whole thing was the fact that it was the smallest thing which got us motivated. Those things are so small, that you can't recollect them after some days. However, they keep you motivated throughout!

Life is a journey, and a journey is full of ups and downs. You always need motivation to complete your journey. There are times, when you lose focus of your goals or the Big Picture, but I strongly believe that if you have the intent, you will always keep getting motivated, no matter what. (Modern day version of- If there is a will, there is a way! :P) So just get out there, and go get your goal!!

P.S- I Like Writing Serious Posts.  :) And I guess they'll keep coming until I am in a better place than I am now! :)

The Extra Terrestrials...

They are the different ones. They are looked up by some, sweared on by some. They are "The Ones" for the teachers and also "The Ones" for the students (Hope you get my expression in both "The Ones" :) ). They are loved by the teachers, hated by the students(not necessarily). Their existence, threatens the existence, or rather, the significance of others, which is one of the reasons why they are hated by a lot! They are the Rajnikants of The Student World (was reminded of Rajni because of all the SMSes. On a personal note, I love those jokes :D). Come sun, snow, rain, tsunami, fever, guests at home, vommiting etcetera into Infinity (Infinity- the amount of excuses the normal students know when they have not done their home work (which is almost always) ). They will never ever miss a lecture. And they will come the next day to class, even though there has been an earthquake in the city and the classes building has been destroyed. They will never complain even if the professor is taking an hour extra (Not that they enjoy, but they have a reputation to build na? :P). Now I can go on giving you the characteristics of The Extra Terrestrials, (as I fondly like to call them (no offence guys, its a compliment)) but I would rather not!

So why do I call them The Extra Terrestrials? The answer is simple. Read the first paragraph again. So the definition of an Extra Terrestrial is: A creature who is different from you. Now, scholars do not behave like us, they don't have normal lives and are very different from us. So, the name: The Extra Terrestrials.

As a student in school or college you have many different types of persons. Some maybe Jocks(sports guys), some maybe nerds (not necessarily scholars, but can be easily bullied), the geeks (the super smart guys, who can also be classified under nerds, depending on their behaviour patterns) and of course the Bullies(the name is enough a definition). In India, there aren't many bullies as such, but there are Jocks, Nerds, Geeks and a combination of Nerds and Geeks (Geeky Nerds, if I may say so). Scholars can come under Geeks or Nerds also.

Now as a student through the years I have been both a scholar and a norma student. My former years in school (we can say until the Seventh Standard) I was a scholar. A top three person almost always. However, after Eight I started trending towards the above average people section. Now I don't know whether it was my group or what which caused me to go to the above average section. My group was not of bad people academically or socially, but they were not scholars. I guess, to be a scholar you need to be in scholar environment and with scholar friends which will also make you a scholar eventually. However, the problem was that Scholars were and are never, friend material. Scholars (generally) are back-stabbers, liers and a bunch of people who will try to put you down, demoralize you, or just lie to you so that you study less with confidence of support froma friend, and he studies more. All these qualities are certainly not friend material. A friend will never lie to you, and will certainly want you to get atleast as much as you, if not more.

Another quality(annoying) that makes scholars hard to live with and to be friends with is that they will never help you. I did not experience all this in school but in classes, where I am surrounded by scholars, I experience it from time to time. They will not tell you how to do a sum, even if the know how to do it. When you ask them if they did home work, they'll say no, but will be the first ones to ask the sums which they could not do. To give them a fair judgement, I can understand the fact that they don't solve our doubts. Sometimes, the lecture is going on and they can't explain. Fair enough. But why to lie?

Another fact, why you can't be friends with a scholar is that they are just not normal(and by normal I mean, like me atleast upto some extent). They will not notice a beautiful girl, they'll not talk about a girl who is good looking(yeah a lot of "normal" stuff has to do with girls :P) they, in many cases, don't have passion for something other than studies. They don't watch any sport and the list goes on. And because of these facts it becomes hard to strike up a conversation with them.

Its not because of nothing that me and millions of others don't like scholars. Its because of this lying and back-stabbing that we don't like them not because they're not interesting or something.

You may say that I've been a scholar too, and if I was like this when I was a scholar. Frankly speaking I don't quite remember. However, I don't think I would have been, or anybody would have been, because we were small.

Of course, like we think of them as "Different", they think of us as "Different". Only their points are different. Like we make jokes of theirs (I do not want to splurge them out ;D ), they would also be making jokes about us. They must also be detetesting us! However, I know my reasons of detesting them and I guess they're justified. Not having heard theirs, I cannot make a comment.

And of course, all this is a genralization. There are many people who are scholars, not normal but helpful too, in my classes too! However, many of these scholars share all these qualities and are more or less the same.

The fact that they are demoralizing and not helpful, is the prime reason why I dislike them. But of course there ARE scholars who are helpful and not demoralizing.

P.S- All my scholar friends who read this (not many, coz they are scholars!) I have nothing against you'll. These are just the common sentiments.

Happiness..

Happiness. The single-most talked about and most expansive word I guess. One of the very few words on which you can write thousands of pages endlessly. One of the very few words on which almost everyone on this Earth has an opinion, can speak about it ceaselessly, but no person in this world can define it.

Well, one of the few reasons why people cannot define happiness is because of the fact that it is relative. Yeah, you maybe happy with a certain thing, but another person cannot. Some might find solace in money, some might find happiness in a spiritual life. Which takes us to the next level of happiness: Material or worldly happiness and Spiritual Happiness. Another set of thoughts that encircles our mind is the fact that we do not realize happiness when we are happy, but we notice it when we are depressed, suicidal(:P) and too thoughtful. So its all a myriad of thoughts that torment our mind when we think about happiness.

Well happiness is relative but in what sense? Its hard to believe that two people having the same emotional, physical or financial (yeah Finance is the most important!) can have opposing views on their condition. I mean, a financially backward person can't be happy. Yes, you may argue that he can be happy with what he has. However, that isn't happiness right? Its called settling down to what life gives you. Its accepting what you have, accepting the fact that you cannot have more, and trying to be happy. So that maybe, means that money is important for happiness. It is a prerequisite. However, it isn't the only thing needed for happiness.

Then there are the types of happiness. Worldly happiness and Spiritual happiness. Now worldly happiness is short-lived, no doubt about that. You can buy all the things that you love, but some day that excitement will wear off. You won't find it making you happy anymore. Talking about spiritual happiness, I am not in a position to comment about it. Its like someone telling Sachin how to bat (though people keep on doing that) or me trying to run the Finance System of the country. Its unknown territory. However, according to what I have read, spiritual happiness is something that lasts with you. Now spiritual happiness doesn't mean just praying to God and all that stuff. Its also giving back to others, helping the needy etcetera.

However, the biggest question that remains unanswered till this day is- why can't we feel happiness when it is with us. Why can't we know at that moment- Yeah I am happy now, I can feel it. Its nothing to do with the part that is a feeling right? I mean, depression or sadness, is also a feeling but we can feel sadness and depression. We can point out at that moment that- Yes, I am sad now. I am depressed. I have suicidal tendencies (:P). Then why not with happiness.

If you ask, I have had that too. I never realized that I was happy at a point of time, but when faced with trying circumstances I realized that was happiness. Take for instance my vacations after the board exams. Now I used to hang around with my friends, drinking soft drinks, just talking to them. It was normal at that time. However, when I started my classes, my hanging out got rare and now I feel that it was the best part of my life.

One of the possible answers for not knowing when happiness comes, is that maybe happiness can never be attained. Whenever, I think about happiness, I always go back to the movie "The Pursuit Of Happyness" in which Will Smith points out that maybe, happiness can never be attained. Maybe its a thing that can only be pursued but never achieved. Maybe that's why Thomas Jefferson, while framing the Constitution For America mentioned the phrase ' The Pursuit Of Happiness ' . Maybe that is why we can never know we're happy. However, that is hard to digest right? I mean, we may not know at that point of time, but we do realize that we were happy after a certain time.

So what I want to point out is the fact that the best moments of our life our passed with us not even knowing that they are the best we are going to have. That is why there is always a regret- Why did we not have more fun??!! And you know what? You can never get that happiness back, with the same circumstances. Having a Coke with my friends, while catching up is not as fun as I had imagined it would.

So the conclusion is, the irony of life that stares at us. We never get to know we're happy, but we always get to know we're sad and depressed. DAMN!!!

P.S- Conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking. You know now why I concluded

P.P.S- Too many thoughts!! Brrrrrr

P.P.P.S- Want to know your thoughts about happiness too. :D

Flashback....

It's been almost a month since I last posted on this blog and I can't bear the thought of not posting some thing, for more than a month. So I was thinking of what to write, searching for topics and I found many, but almost all of them were of national interests and current affairs. Now, I would love to write about current affairs and flaunt my knowledge on the Ayodhya Verdict (which I almost by hearted when I was seated in front of the television for three hours.. :P), but I figure current affairs topics do not suit my blog.

I mean if people wanted to read about current affairs then they will read people far better than me (supposedly :P) in the Times Of India and Hindustan Times. So I figure if I post something in my blog, it has to be something someone has never read before and also would be interested in reading. So I decided to review my blog (in an unbiased way hopefully). Its not entirely a review, its also... well read on.

January 25th was the day I wrote my first post. Now for those of you who haven't read that post, please DON'T. Its not that I am ashamed of my first post or something, its just that the difference in level of writing is bombastic (( I like this word :D ) and it actually IS a word). After me myself reading my first post I could make out the difference in writing, the difference in maturity level, and the stubbornness I had about my views ((which were partly wrong) the stubbornness I guess I still have... sorry can't help it). My writing has evolved (hopefully!), I have become much more mature and my views... well no comments!! (:P)

Somebody also compiled a list of trivia about my blog (a somebody called me) and I am thankful to that awesome person (:P). Out of my twenty one posts, (including this one) the titles of seventeen of them have ended in dots(to signify the continuity). Now I don't know why I almost always end the title of my post with dots. Almost all of the titles of my post represent some kind of continuity and so the dots are a useful representation.

Counting the title of all my posts(discounting this one) I have used a total of eighty dots (rounding up not intended). And out of my 21 posts, the title of five of the posts end in question marks. Now these posts mainly challenge the precedents, views or convictions of society.

Actually blogging has been a good way to keep track of myself. Whenever I want to know what my views were at a certain point of time, I just read the posts of that time and I can easily identify my views. Its also a good way to let out some feelings, share your views and also helps in maintaining a hobby and getting famous! (After all your blog does appear if you Google your name!!)

P.S- To all my blogger friends please please do update. There is nothing interesting to read. I feel like I'm the only one around!!

My Love Affair.....

It was a long time ago. About 8 years back. However, every single detail still remains etched in my memory. I mean, who will not remember such a time in your life? Who will not remember their first love? The first time you really forget the outside world and just concentrate on that person. The first time when you can spend hours with that person, without food (not water though :P ), without friends. The first time, when you are more than willing to keep yourself in that small little world with that loving little person of yours. You never get tired of that person, you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. That is FIRST LOVE.

I had a first love too. Well, I continue to be in that first love. However, unfortunately, my first love was not with a woman ( !!!!! ). And not a guy either ( I AM straight). It was with a thing (Imagine all you can!!!! :P ) However, for me they were not things. They were much more than that. They were my BOOKS.

First clarification, NOT my text books (If you know me properly, you won't need that explanation :D ) Yes, they were my beloved story books.

I really don't remember the 'firsts' of my affair with my books. Something I regret. I cannot recollect which was the first book I read, how I got into this habit, at what age, etcetera. However, it does not serve purpose anymore, because my books became my best friends from the day I got into contact with them. Now I know, me using the phrase 'Books are my best friends' makes me seem very nerdy etcetera, I would like to defend my fellow mates here (Not that I feel a need, but others gotta see my point). Reading books is just an entertainment for us like it is to watch a movie, play a sport, watch television. Well I don't wanna go on about this, because I don't want to be all 'preachy' and spoil your read.

Anyway, my romance really picked up pace when I stepped into a bigger world, the secondary section, where I was exposed to the Library. I have many fond memories of the library. My first one which I can commemorate dates back to the fifth standard when I used to rush after school (literally run) to the library (because it was open only till 2pm i.e half hour after my school ended) to catch up with the Secret Seven series. I had just finished Famous Five at that time and thought that Enid Blyton was a guy!!!! My second one was in the sixth standard, when I had come at 7 am in the morning, half hour before the library opens, just to get Library Card No 1. I was reading the Five Find Outers at that time, which was like the milder book, compared to the Harry Potter books I read as soon as they got published.

Then there was that lull period after the eighth standard when I was exposed to the computer and the internet. So reading took a back seat as I explored the computer I always dreamed of owning. However, in two years I attained the saturation point (which is never attained with books) and in the most crucial year of my life (or so said by many people :P ) I got back my hobby which I had missed so much. Of course in the years in between, I was always connected to books, but not in the way I used to. My reading had matured from story books, to novels, to self-help and self-inspirational books. And of course, now I have that passion in life and one more, writing :D

Throughout these sixteen years, my passions have changed, my hobbies have changed but my only partner throughout these phases were my books. It is the one hobby that never left me, but whenever it did, it always came back stronger.

I really don't understand the reason why reading isn't a common habit. If only everyone could give it a chance at least once. It is the cheapest (or so it is said (but you can always get books from station for Rs. 60! )) and the most entertaining hobby one can have. However, I guess, not everybody has the same taste.

So here it is, non readers, please give reading a chance and you will be thanking me later( :P )

And readers, Happy Reading!!!!!

P.S- Technically speaking, this post is being read by 'Readers' and 'Non Readers' will not even read this Post. So this whole thing is a..... (Fill In the Blanks)

P.P.S- Why did I not think of it before? DAMN!!!!!

The Back-Benchers.....

I looked at my watch- 6.59 am. I was late. A rarity. I was still in the train, which was running late. NOT a rarity ( :P ). I hurried onto the platform and went across the over-head bridge as the train pulled up on the station, 6 minutes late. I reached my class, which was almost about to start. As I walked into my class, I looked around, heaved a sigh of disappointment and walked straight to the last bench and sat down crest-fallen. That was what should have happened.

Let me tell you what actually happened. I walked into the class, did not look around, heaved a sigh of RELIEF, RAN towards the last bench and sat down with ECSTASY. Actually that looking around was just a formality(enforced upon me by society, and also a move to salvage some of my pride and status... :P). I was always going to sit on the last bench, even if the former benches were not occupied.

In my reign as a back-bencher, I have never ever seen a scholar come into this occult society of ours, that is dreaded and looked upon by many. However, on that day, one ventured into our society, looking for greener pastures, better places. Little did he know that he was going to be bombarded by comments. Not from us, not at all. We are a brotherly society and even the scholars and livers of the 'Third World' are invited to experiment living in the 'First World'. However, that Mathematics lecture of his, turned into hell, as in every 5 minutes the professor passed one comment on top of the other regarding the bold transition that the student had made, which was obviously not appreciated by the professor. Little did he realize the amount of courage that the student required to make that transition

Yes, we are a different society. However, we are not any kind of occult. However, people consider us to be an occult(Actually they mean it in an ironical way).

In society everyone has a different role to play. Take for example the classroom itself. In a classroom, every student has a different role to play. The first benchers are conventionally the scholars or they are at least the people who are serious about studies(this is all a generalization). Then come the students who sit in the middle bench. They are supposed to be serious about studies AND a bit mischievous too. And then the society that I belong to. The last benchers. We are expected to be dumb AND mischievous too. Now if all students start to play the role of the first benchers, then there is no fun. In that situation, eventually someone will have to go to the last bench,(I don't think I need to explain why :P) but then will the last bencher also be dumb AND mischievous? NO, he won't.

The other point is the habit of generalization that exists in society. Society consists of humans, as we all know. And humans cannot be generalized. Hell, if elements in Chemistry cannot be generalized(yes I have been studying a lot :P) then how can much superior humans be generalized? Just because a kid sits in the last bench, doesn't mean he is dumb AND/OR mischievous. Just because a kid sits on the last bench doesn't mean he does not want to be taught. Yes, people do sit in the last bench to while away time. However, you cannot afford to generalize. Professors literally feel the student has lost interest in studies if he sits on the last bench. Hell, that's so NOT true.

This is a wrong myth about back-benchers, that they cannot do well in studies. Well, I intend to break it, while staying on the last bench and remaining loyal to my so-called Occult Society and my Dark Bro's :P

So I am on a mission now. Will surely tell you when it gets accomplished. And yeah do not expect a "MISSION FAILED" because the "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" will come. Wait for it!!!!

Nights......

Nights!!! There is something about them that fascinates me. For me, the best part of the 'day' is ironically the night. Yes, some people may say sunset and sunrise, but frankly speaking, who in this busy world has the time to get up for a sunrise? I am a nocturnal person, and I have observed that people never come to terms with the beauty of the night, because of the fact that they are never awake to observe one. However, if they do, they will most certainly realize that the night is on par when compared to the sunset and sunrise.

Staying awake in the night is a tough thing. The so-called 'rules' of the world force us to wake up in the morning. However, I not having college and being completely free, can afford to be nocturnal and enjoy the benefits of the night. Believe me, any work you have to do is done much faster at night. The reason being the absolute and sometimes eerie silence that gives us peace of mind. Everybody needs silence to work, (at least I do) and you easily get that in night. Talking about studies, you study more effectively in the night too. That is because you can concentrate easily and also because there aren't many disturbances. Of course this is just a generalization, and studying patterns vary from person to person.

The night is also a very good time to reflect. Believe me, whether you want it or not, your mind WILL wander of to places that you are not even aware of. The night is exactly like the sunset or sunrise, when it comes intellectually. Whenever you see a sunset or sunrise, your mind always wanders off and you start thinking about stuff like - "Why is my life so sucky? If only I could have this..." etcetera. Basically you start reflecting upon your life so far and start to see all that is wrong. Ditto with the night. You are there on your table, studying hard, trying hard to get that damn sum right, when only the word 'damn' triggers of a series of thoughts. You start thinking about how 'damned' life is, how 'damn' tough this sum is and all other things associated with the word 'damn' .

Nobody likes to get disturbed when they are working or studying by television or music, but nobody minds getting disturbed by thoughts. Because in life thoughts are the only things that just glide through without any obstacles. Everybody loves to drown in abyss of thoughts. And it is because of this quality that sunset, sunrise and night are the most preferred time of the day for relaxing.

Nights are adventurous and scary too. Just a little bit of noise can scare you off and plague the rest of your night. However, considering all those aspects I still feel that the night is the best part of the day. It is an experience and a good one too. Nights are quiet, sometimes eerie, and they trigger a lot of thoughts in you mind. Who doesn't like to get lost in a trail of thoughts only to come back after a long time......??

Dreams or Reality....??

I woke up with a start. The dream had not been good. I could not remember what the dream was about. All I knew was that it did not feel good. However, my day had begun. I got up from my bed and checked my cell phone. 6.49 AM and no messages (Actually I first look for messages and then the time). I walked sleepily to the basin and brushed my teeth. I drank my cold, sugarless milk (I don't like it but my mom forgot to put sugar...) I went to the bathroom, hoping my sleep-walk would stop!! I stepped out of the bathroom, into the chilly morning, which had been caused by constant rain, throughout the night. One thing was sure, I was going to get wet while going to school.

I rode out of my building, already drenched in the furious rain. I got to school, safe sound and wet. It was a typical day at school. The day begun with the Sanskrit period, which was as usual spent in completing home-work(if anyone cared about it) and FUN!!! We were brutally brought back to reality by our strict and superb, Math-1 teacher. However, Algebra was easy, so it passed of smoothly as well. It was 9.00 AM, and our sleep had worn out. Next came Science-2, and with it came dozens of comments on the teacher as well as her favourite pet student... :P The teacher picked at Ted (name changed on request of anonymity) as the shouts of "GAY, GAY!!" gathered momentum (I guess you know who I am talking about). The next lecture was Marathi, which was torturous, not for the students, but for the teacher. (We are sorry for that..) The comments increased by the dozen and so did the teacher's frustration. The recess bell came as a relief to the teacher. She still had one more lecture to survive in X th A class. We came back from our break, but the situation remained the same. Jokes about the teacher's years in school etcetera started. We safely got through the irresistible temptation of dozing of to sleep. Next up was my one of my favourite subjects- History. That passed superbly and then was my best subject- English. I always did well in English, I don't know why though. English actually had something to learn. For me , it was the only subject in which the child's intelligence was tested. Perhaps, that is why it was my favourite subject. The last two periods were spent in the band-room, my stress busting room. Where we could all just get lost in music...

Our last two periods drifted through, and I prepared to go to my classes, directly from my school. As I cycled my way to Yogi Nagar, I suddenly began to hear Summer Of '69.

It was then I realized that I was only dreaming...! I shut the alarm off and checked the time. It was actually 8.19 AM, and I lazily woke up from my bed. No going immediately to brush my teeth. No wearing my beloved school uniform, with my exclusive tie and amplets. Those tie and amplets which gave me some status. In school, I was a noticed person. I had some respect, I was known, However, in this big, huge world, I am a no one. In my classes I am a no one.

I miss those days of school. I miss my uniform. In school, no one could ask me what company my uniform was from, and hence judge me. No one looked for the brand of my jeans, or the brand of my shoes. It just did not matter.

I miss school, where I could be known for something more than my academic progress. In this huge world, no one gives a damn about what my talents are, they just care about how I perform academically. I have no issues with that, as that is the world which exists, and which you have to accept.

I miss school, where I could make fun, crack jokes, pass comments and still not be judged as a joker or as a person who is not serious about his life. In the real world, if I have a good sense of humour, it means that I am also an unfocused man. This continues even though I perform well in studies.

I miss school, where I could tell everyone everything, and I could be assured of not being judged. Here, everyone is jumping to judge you, even on the clothes you wear.

School seemed reality when I was in school. However, slowly, as I set foot in the real world, I have begun to see that school is a dream and this world is the actual real world. Dreams are always better than reality, school is better than this world we all are going to set foot in.

It is said, that you must work hard to make your dreams into reality. However, I have a dream which cannot be brought to reality. Dreams with worldly things can be brought to reality. However, I have a dream that does not contain worldly pleasures. It contains things, feelings which cannot be brought back. Those feelings, that innocence is lost in childhood, lost forever.....

Out Of My Imagination.....

I looked out from my window, and found a child in my building. He is about 6 years old, and studies in my school. Now, finding a child play in my building is a rarity. My building is one of the boring ones, where everybody likes to play on their PlayStation and Xbox. So, even the ones who want to come to play, can't as they are subjected to extreme boredom.

That is why, finding Varun (or rather Babu, as his parents call him) roaming about in the building alone, was surprising. He was new to the building and was my neighbour. I was kind of short of work and so I decided to see what the boy would do.

He roamed about in the building compound for some time, and it was apparent to him that this building was not very happening. I got bored of studying him and I went inside. I returned after 5 minutes to see that he was sitting on my scooter. For him, the scooter became his world. He sat on the scooter, started it with the characteristic 'Brrrrrr' and shot of to fight criminals or aliens. He looked around, got down got a twig, and using that as a gun, began his journey to the crime site. He reached there in about 50 seconds, in his super fast, scooter and got down. Aware of the enemy, he stationed himself against a wall, and waited for the enemies to come, so that he could catch them off-guard. He picked off the enemies one by one and then reloaded his twig to face their boss. It was an intense battle, as he was shot by a bullet from the boss. But, that did not deter him, as he produced his surprise grenade (a big stone) and hurled it across at the big tree(which was the boss). Confident that he had killed his enemy, he blew the smoke off his gun, put it in his pocket and drove away to another world altogether.

He got down from his scooter and looked at a pile of gravel and stone. To him, that pile was quite high and it would take a lot of effort to reach to the top. However, he was aware that when he would reach the top, he would be satisfied about his mission which seemed to be the most difficult one he had undertaken till present day. It took him a lot of effort to get to the top. The height of the pile of stone, even though small for me, was daunting for him. He climbed up once, but had to come down again. He realized that this task would need a lot more force than the other tasks he performed during the day. So, he went back, took a longer run-up and tried again. Same results. Frustration was creeping in, but he did not want to give up. The climb to the top, was the only thing that was left for him to do, and it was the only thing that would pass some time. Determined even more, he took a longer run-up, ran up the pile and finally reached the top. He took in the overwhelming feeling of reaching his top of the world. He looked around with a satisfying expression, one that would be attained when you accomplish a goal. He stayed there for half hour, enjoying the breathtaking view and then returned to his house, ready to tell his uncle about his exploits and delighted at the face that it would surprise his uncle. And it surely did surprise him!!!

P.S- Like it??

P.P.S- Sorry for not posting for a month. Just couldn't get anything to write about.

Kicked In The Rear....!!!!

I don't know what I am going to right today. However, I feel this need to write something. I am shocked, I am angry, I am a lot of things, but it doesn't really matter. All this is because, as my title says, Life Has Kicked Me In The Rear. A year's hard work has gone waste. I don't know what I did wrong. And I know that I deserved more than what I got. (I am talking about my SSC results) Everyone knew that. But then they say, with hard work, you also need luck. It rarely happens that this luck is not with someone, and it happened with me. I am crying foul, but its of no use. You may find me defending my marks, and putting the whole blame on the system, and you may be thinking that I am a coward to do that. But believe me I am not. I introspected and introspected before I put the blame on lady luck. And I found nothing lacking in my efforts. As my results came in, I felt this dissatisfaction about my marks. Not because I had got less, but because I had deserved more. But God has his plans, and I am a firm believer that whatever happens, happens for good. I learnt a lesson that day, which everyone will learn, sooner or later in life- Even if you work hard, you don't always get the reward. I opened my Gmail account, and there lay a mail by my father which was perfect for me, and I needed it at that instant. I don't know whether you'll have read it but I am pasting it-

One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...... I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I t ook very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit." He said..
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others.."
He said.
"The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?"
I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never, Never, Never Give up.

This came at a perfect time for me. And it just gave me the will to go on. After all, life is full of ups and downs. I gave the first test of life, and I went down. Which means that I can only go up now!!!!!

The Monsoon Is Here...

The previous template of my blog was becoming monotonous. There was this new template thing, so I tried that, and I guess my blog looks better now!!!

Anyway, the title of this post is deceiving. It may sound that I am very happy, now that the monsoon is here, everything is green, I can play in the water, get wet in the rain, eat hot hot pokaras while it is raining outside. However, I am far from happy. And looking at the posts on Facebook, I might be the only one who does not enjoy the rains. Yes, that's right, I don't like the rains! It is like not liking Mango (which I love by the way).

Anyway I will explain my paranoia. You see, a year ago, I was also a normal school-going kid who of course loved the rains. I never even used to take an umbrella or wind cheater with me, in order to get wet. (By the way, I am still normal, except that my horizons have widened) So the rains were exhilarating, enjoyable before, because I did not have to travel much, as my home was just 10 minutes away. At that time, I was a fan of the rains too. But not anymore.

My destination has changed, my journey has changed. I no longer go to my school, which is 10 minutes away, but I go to my classes which are an hour away. And you will never be able to imagine the agony, that this hour gives when it is raining. Believe me, travelling in the rain is not at all a good experience. You aboard the train, drenched in the rain. People in the train are the same as you, and you just have to stick to a person, which makes you go "EEW!!!"(You don't have a choice. You go to first class or second class, it will be the same story)

Leaving the travelling part aside, when I, or almost everyone moves out of their houses, its for a long long time. (6 hours normally) And getting wet in the rain while going to work or classes is even worse. If you get wet while coming back, then its okay. Because you can always take a warm bath in your house. However, if you get wet while going to your office, classes or college, then its a pain-in-the-wrong-place. You will have to spend the rest of the day in your uncomfortable and wet clothes, in the air conditioned class room, which won't leave you in a good shape of mind.

Taking umbrellas or wind cheaters is not much of a help, everyone knows that. Nothing in this world can save you from Mumbai rains. So if you are gonna get out of the house while its raining, prepare to get wet. Of course, if you are going by a rickshaw, to a short distance, then you will enjoy the rain. However, if you are a long distance traveler, like 99% of the people, it won't be a joy ride for you.

So I guess, the rains can be enjoyed only if you are at home, playing football, or if you are one of the fortunate ones, whose work place is close to home. (Believe me you are very fortunate)

I love the rains too, and I get wet if I get the chance and if I don't have to go any place important. However, the rains become a hindrance, when you travel, because we all know what the rains do to our transport systems.

P.S- This is my personal opinion, and I am sure many people will differ from my opinion. Most of the people love the rains. Even I do, but not while I am travelling!!!!

A Mixed Day.....

I woke up in the morning with a strange feeling. A not-very-happy-feeling. Yesterday's day had not been the best one. I had my classes test, and I don't think I did very well. This after putting in hours of efforts for the past week. Felt like a slap on my face. However, I had decoded my mistake and felt better then. Getting back to my morning, I woke up forcibly, even though I wanted to sleep and straightaway sat on facebook. Yes, that's right even without having a bath. I checked my account, chatted with some of my friends, none of which helped to lighten my mood.

I had my classes at 3.30 pm. So I had lunch and got ready to go to my classes. Even as I ventured out into the afternoon sun, my mind was wandering elsewhere.... What had gone wrong?? Why did I not realize my mistake earlier??

These things, wandering in my mind, I involuntarily went to the station and sat in one of the trains. The train was unusually crowded, so I did not even get a place to sit in the train. The afternoon was getting to me, and by the time I reached my classes, my T-shirt was wet, and my jeans was not very comfortable to sit. The lecture in classes were Physics and Chemistry. Physics, I love, but the teacher is a bit of a 'khaduus'. Doesn't even let us laugh. The first lecture passed away, with my mind wandering about from the results of the test, to what I would be updating on my Facebook status.(This is one of the reasons why I deactivated my account on Facebook!!!) Surprisingly, the lecture was good and interesting as something related to physics had been started. (Vectors, if you care) So atlast, I had a subject, which I adored, because for the past month, Physics had been as good as maths. (i.e BAD). Next was the Chemistry lecture. My mood was better, as I tried to deviate my mind from the test(Forgive me for Physics' words ) However, the name of Chemistry was enough to benumb my mind. The teacher for Chemistry was very good, but I think, making Chemistry, an interesting subject, is a herculean task. A task which the teacher accomplished in the next 2 hours. Yes, that's right. I don't remember what he started, that I liked so much, but I liked it anyway. It was the first time, I had actually not looked at the watch. As the teacher explained Bohr's Model Of Atom(I know, not very interesting for you) everything blacked out and simultaneously, a cheer passed across the building. THE POWER WAS OUT. We waited for 5 minutes, as chants of "Leave us" grew. In 5 minutes, they left us. However, I was having mixed feelings. Come on, it was my first good Chemistry lecture. Was I happy, or was I sad?? Then I thought, " Come on man, you are not that big a nerd. Get a life!!!"

Our early departure was actually a curse in disguise(yeah I invented it). The time was 8.30pm. Not a good time to board a train. As we reached the station, we did not get any happier, as the station was fully crowded. As the train docked into the station, I got ahead of the others. As the passengers alighted, I saw lots of empty space in the train, A Glimmer Of Light!!! I forced my way into the train, and enjoyed the tunes of Bryan Adams. However, my mind was still wandering. I was going along with more than 500 people in the train that day. Did anyone of them have a day with feelings, as mixed as mine????

P.S- This is a very old post, that I did not publish before, because I was bored.

P.P.S- This is a different post that I am trying out, very different from my other posts. So please do comment, if you liked it or no.

What's The Big Deal??

Well, our standard tenth board exam results date have been announced. Doomsday is just about two weeks away now. The announcement of the date of results has led to widespread panic among the students (you can exclude me). What I am still not sure about is that whether the panic is because of the results, or whether its because of vacations getting over too soon. If its for the latter, then I have no reason to panic. After all, I said goodbye to my vacations more than a month ago. I have been pretty busy since that time.

Anyway, even if the panic is for the former reason, I still don't see any reason for panic. After all, its just a result. Agreed its the TENTH STANDARD RESULTS. So?????

What can happen worst of all?? Of course, you are never going to fail the board exams. Believe me, its a lot tougher to fail in the board exams than to top them. So, worse things worse, you get say 70%. So what? You will go to a not-so-good or not-so-popular college. Well, if you are worried about not getting to 'hang around' in the 'cool' places because of your low percentage, then I cannot help you. However, if you are seriously worried about your bad result, and you are worried because it might harm your future prospects, then you can stop. Because, you tenth standard percentage just won't matter. Just accept, 'Mistake made' and rectify it. Your not getting good percentage in tenth board exams won't have a bearing in which college you graduate from or which company you get an appointment letter from. When you go to apply for a job, what will apply will be the college or university you GRADUATED from. Not your junior college. So even if you get low percentage in tenth standard exams, you can make it up by scoring well in twelfth standard exams.

Its not the end of the world.

However, if you are worried about you results with the fear that you won't get to 'hang around' in the 'cool' places then as I said, I can't help you. Nobody can. You can consider yourself to be seriously irresponsible, or filthily rich, who is going to spend his life just SPENDING the money that his/her dad earned. If you are just irresponsible, then you are in serious trouble.

So advice to you guys, just chill. There is no need to worry about the results because it won't have a bearing on your career.

Finally A Man Now.......

First of all, I am sorry for not posting for such a long time. Apparently, playing football, hanging out with friends etcetera were more interesting to me. However, now I am back to doing what I love, WRITE. Secondly, I am not going to continue the previous post simply because of the fact that I am not in a mood to. So here I am, my life transforming into one of hardships, stress and many more things.

My classes have started and I have to travel a long distance to get there. Well, in actuality its not that long, considering how much people travel, but it is long for a tenth standard pass student (Yes I will surely pass in the boards) Whenever, my dad used to come home, he would always be tired and I would wonder what he was tired about. I mean, air conditioned office, sitting before a computer for 8 hours. Sounded fun to me. However, now I realize why he was tired. It was the TRAVELLING. My dad travels a bit more than what I do now. And I can assure you, travelling is not that fun. I mean, I was under the impression that travelling by trains or buses was fun. That was because, whenever I traveled with my mom, it was either a Sunday or it was afternoon. Basically, there was no rush at that time.

However, my classes timings are such that they leave students by 9 which isn't a very good time to board a train and that too from Andheri!!! The first day, while returning, I tried to board a train. I could barely get inside and was hanging by the pole. To ensure that my first outing wouldn't be my last, I got down and waited for another one. Then came a Virar train. Boarding it was out of question. I finally got onto the next train, which came 15 minutes late, which helped actually as there wasn't much rush. The second day was worse. I managed to get into the train that came, but did not even have an inch to move my legs.

Well the experience was an enriching one, and I will have to keep doing it for 2 years at least. I am proud of myself that I can do all this on my own. I know it isn't much, but I feel really feel proud about it. Its like I am Finally A Man Now.......

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS.....

Yes, my obsession with the opposite sex continues. Yes, people may call me 'desperate' or whatever but I am not going to talk about their 'hair' or 'eyes' or 'smile' or 'dimples' etc. I am just going to talk about the quality or rather power that is given to every girl that we boys, of our clan detest, the power to REJECT!

I know this post of mine is not going to bring me any female fans. Rather I am at risk of losing some of them. ( if there are any) I personally, haven't come across any rejections from girls in my life, but it feels like I know everything about it from my friends.

I know that there are very few 'good' boys left in this world, but the problem is that girls just fail to know who are the good ones and the bad ones. At least girls of my age do not understand. This age is very bad for relationships. You get into a relationship with a girl, purely on the basis of looks, not even caring what her nature is like. And friends of mine fail to understand when a girl is serious or is just using him. Yes, times have changed. Girls have become equally bad as boys. It is so hard to find a good girl in this universe. If you are lucky enough, you will find a good girl.

However, I am not going to talk about how bad girls can get after relationships, it will be continued in part II of this post. I am going to talk about how bad girls can be before relationships.

I comply with the power that the universe has provided to females, the power of rejection. To be fair to the girls, they deserve that power as they cannot accept any tom. dick and harry that proposes to them. They are entitled to that power, but what troubles me is the pride that girls take in rejecting someone. I am not talking about all girls, but girls in general. And if the girls want to stick to that argument that, only few are like that, then even we can say that. I mean, I know girls who take pride in the number of boys that they have rejected. I understand that they can reject whoever they want, but who the hell gives them the right to have pride on that? They just do the easier part in pre-relationship part, accept or reject. However, the tough part is done by the boys. Why can't they have some respect for the guts of a boy and not make fun of him, by increasing their count of rejections and boasting about it? Who gave them the right to do that?

P.S- The post-relationship part will be continued.......

Co Education Anyone.......???

I have got a lot of things to share with you guys. I just now gave my board exams and there are plenty of experiences that I would like to share. I got a center that was not very far away from my house. The center had students of my school and a co-ed school. Obviously, there were many couples and we enjoyed a lot having a look at them. However, what amazed me was the level of comfort that the students, whether girls or boys, had with the opposite sex.

I study in an only boys school, so you can imagine the amount of discomfort we have when we are with girls. It is not normal for us. For us, approaching a girl requires tremendous amount of self-confidence, guts and the courage to face failure. However, students of co-ed schools have no such feelings. They have been talking to girls since their childhood. The level comfort was evident from how they approached each other after the exams. I mean, the girls were like patting the boys' back and asking,"How was your paper?" I was like,"Physical Contact??"

But then I realized that it was quite normal for them to be so comfortable. I mean, they have been with each other for 12 years. Anyone would be comfortable after such a long time.

Which draws me to the inevitable question. Would it have been better if I was in a co-ed school?

I really don't know what would have been better. If I was in a co-ed school, I would have no problems approaching a girl in college. The level of vulgarity among boys would be much less because with girls around, you can't talk about anything and everything, right? The pressure of performing and the level of competitiveness would be much more too. I mean, I wouldn't like it if a girl beat me, so I would work harder.

However, being in a co-ed would mean more complexities and more difficulties. The obvious presence of girls in the class would be enough an excuse for the mind to go wandering. It would also mean early relationship, early heart-break, early problems etc.

So I think it was for the best that I went to a only-boys school. Having said that, it is not necessary that students in co-ed get spoilt. I have a few friends who have successfully resisted all this and are as-good-as-gold. At least they seem to be. But who knows........

A Breath Of Fresh Air.....

Just finished my board exams. You must be imagining that I must be very happy, screaming my lungs of etc. But its quite normal. One more exam of the endless number of exams that we, students give, has ended. I don't understand the hype created around the board exams. It was just one more exam for me. No additional pressure, no additional preparation and no ecstasy after they went on well. Weren't they supposed to?

The exams though were very frustrating, not because of the studies but because of our PARENTS!! Almost everyone's parents' had taken leave from their respective offices and they helped us in no way other than picking and dropping us, and putting pressure on us. We were not allowed to watch TV, not allowed to listen to music, not allowed to sit on the internet, nothing. Just study. They are correct to some extent. However, everyone needs a break and we were not allowed even to sit for 5 minutes after having lunch. "Last lap of the race, speed up, speed up" We all got so irritated of them that we wished they hadn't taken leave and we would be home, ALONE!" Seriously, after the boards, I promised myself that I would never tell my dad to be at home, as it adds to the tension and I am not able to study the way in which I want to.

I don't understand, they never used to be there when the school preliminary exams were going on. I studied in the way in which I wanted and I got good marks. However, in the case of the board exams, the attitude suddenly changes and here they are dictating to me time to take break, time to study etcetera. ( I guess you'll never knew the exact spelling of etcetera) What they failed to understand was that the board exams were as easy as any other exams, actually easier than most other exams. The only thing different about the board exams was that the stakes were higher. When it came to the board exams, they lost all trust in us.

Anyway its finally over now, and I have an enjoyable vacation to look forward to. And you'll can expect a lot more posts, now that I am free.

The Last Lap

It is the most important time of the year for me, and the most restless time too. My board exams are now due in a week and I will have finished my English paper, next week by this time. Its like you are climbing a mountain and just a few meters away from the summit. And after that- FREE!! I actually realized how less time was remaining last week when I was planning my weekly schedule. I suddenly realized that after 2 weeks, I would be giving my board exams for which I have slogged for the past one year.

As the D-Day comes closer, the mind is starting to crave for some company. These days are generally very lonely as you have to sit in one room, alone, and study. The worst part about this situation though is not studying. It is that you can't talk to anyone. As you go on getting lonely, your concentration on studies deteriorates. And no parents allow their children to talk to their friends at this time. What they don't understand is that we people are human beings too and we need company. This time of the year, we have many issues about which we cannot talk to our parents. There are various instances where we have self-doubt, cold feet ( getting afraid of something ) etc. If we tell this to our parents, most probably it will turn into a lecture and an ' I told you first only....' talk. However, that is not what we need. A friend at these times is most appreciated. Parents don't understand how much it helps when even one person comes up and says " Hey, don't worry. You will get very good marks." And in times of utter distress and self-doubt, these words work like Sanjeevani ( an ancient herb which cures everything) They give us a new found confidence, which boosts you up.

This is most probably my last post before the board exams get over. Will see you on 17th March. Wish me luck for the Board Exams.

P.S- This post was very small. However, I did not have a lot to write because my mind was pre-occupied by studies and other stuff. And I also did not have a lot of time to write. Adieus!!

My Last Day In School.......

I possibly had the saddest, most nostalgic and worst day of my life, so far, yesterday. We had our school farewell yesterday. The excitement of wearing formals, looking good, finally becoming MEN was soon worn out when it dawned to us that we will never ever be able to meet like this again, 120 students as a whole. There was no show of tears, however, in anyone's eye, but I am sure everyone was crying a river in their hearts.

The farewell was a trifle disappointing. I am not complaining but then I expected a bit more. Anyway, it was fun and I don't have any complaints. When I sat down to write a farewell speech, I realized that during some moments of your life, you just don't find the words to articulate your feelings. I really did not know where to begin. It was like there was no co-ordination between the mind and the mouth.

I was really sad that day. I realized that I would never get a chance to sit in those classrooms, writing on the desks, throwing chalks at friends, making fun of our friends, commenting on almost every thing that the teacher said, sleeping on those wooden benches etc. We would never be fortunate enough to be corrected by the teachers again and being subjected to their love again. Yes, college does offer a lot of opportunities to hang out with your friends, a lot of freedom etc. However, the mind always craves to return back to school. We humans, love attention. We like it when someone cares about us. In college, nobody gives a damn about who you are, what you do etc. In school, you get sick and at least 15 people ask you if you are well. In college, no one will be bothered. We will never have the same friends in college too. It is very rare that the friendship you have in school, lasts your life.

Life is so ironical. The first day we enter school, we cry as we don't want to leave our mother's protective shield. At that time, we are going into a new world. When we leave school, we cry again as we don't want to leave our school's protective shield. At that time too, we are entering a new world. We cry for the same things that we detest and then love.

Similarly, when we are in school, we crave to go to college, get freedom and be independent. As we go to college, we crave to earn our own money, be financially independent and stand on your own feet. As you see your children enjoying their school life, you want to go to school again. When they enjoy their college life, you want to go to college too. It is very famously said, "What goes around, comes around." It surely does. However, much you enjoy your college life, school life, be ready to be sitting in a rocking chair, as a retired person, thinking about what all I could have done in school. Because, 'Yeh Dil Maange More!'

Why These Double Standards....?

Wow! I am three blogs old now and I know pretty much what to write. This post's heading is very similar to the previous post's heading. I was wondering what to write now and some experiences transformed into observations, which troubled me again. So here is Baba Shaishavdas' newest observation.

I will not be talking about the double standards of our political parties. No no. I am a Gandhi and I fear for my life. Considering the fate of most Gandhians I would not like to say anything that would bring death to me. I am going to talk about the double standards that all human beings ( including me) have. Well, at first blush, most of you will be like " I don't have any double standards!" However, I will be a little rude and tell you that you do have double standards. I won't blame you for those double standards though, as it is present in every human being.

The first double standard all human beings have is towards the rich. The fact that people become friendlier to their rich friends is quite evident and known and I am not going to talk about that double standard. I am going to talk about the difference in our behaviour when the same thing is done by a rich man ( and by rich I mean a millionaire or billionaire) My mom's friend's husband is a multi-millionaire. Thankfully, my mom's attitude towards her rich friend has not changed. They were never best friends, had differences and still have. This man always keeps social gatherings on New Years, Holi, Navratri etc. and we are invited to his parties. It was noticed by all that he wore the same sherwani in navratri this year that he had worn last year. And people started complimenting him and saying how simple and down to earth he was. Now figure this. If a normal man, say my dad would have worn the same sherwani for two consecutive navratri's, what would be the reaction? " Doesn't this fellow have any clothes? He seems to be poor. Can't afford any clothes" The same situation, same people who commented, different people who wore the same clothes and different opinions.

The second double standard that we have is our boys overwhelming behaviour towards girls. My friend got rejected by a girl. He tried again and got rejected again. However, he was still hopeful and wanted to try it for the third time too. I was shocked. I just gave him one example. If you came to me and asked for my friendship and I said no would you come back to me. Okay, maybe he might try again. If I said no to his friendship for the second time too what would he do? He told me he would assault me. I did not mind that sentence as I had conveyed my point and he agreed too. So why do we give special treatment to girls? Just yesterday I had a mind- blowing experience that rocked me and not in a good way. My friend wanted to bring his girlfriend to dinner after our annual day. However, his girlfriend only wanted few close friends. Because of her we KICKED out 6 people so that she would be comfortable. ( It was almost like kicking them out) So off we went happily to a restaurant and we came to know that she was coming for no reason at all. I was so angry and hurt. We tried calling our REAL friends back but they wouldn't come. Of course they wouldn't. Don't they have any self-pride? So why is it that we are so partial to girls who just disintegrate our friend circle??

All the double standards that I mentioned above are present in all of us. It comes naturally to us. And even though, I am writing these observations, I, at some point too, had these double standards. Hope, I after writing and You after reading won't have these double standards.

Why This Injustice....?

Today, I am going to write on a topic that has been troubling me for a long time, the time from when I got into my teenage. I always wanted to speak to this to a wide audience. I wrote part of it in my school magazine and the other half, I am writing now. ( Talking about wide audience, I don't know how many people read my blog. However, nonetheless I will be satisfied at least.)

I want to speak today on the injustice done to boys in our society. Yes, you read it right. No its not a typing error. I am talking about the injustice done to BOYS and not girls. A precautionary note here: I am not saying that there is no injustice towards girls. There is a lot. I agree. However, I am talking about the injustice done towards all boys, which may be small in scale but has gone unnoticed.

Why is it that after 9pm in the night, only boys are told to go out and get some grocery? It was not a literal question and I know the answer myself. It is because girls venturing outside after 9pm is dangerous. They may get kidnapped etc. However, don't our parents care about us, boys? Can't we get kidnapped too? I know this injustice is quite silly. I am just pointing it out because I am too lazy to go out and get grocery. So, for my convenience I am pointing out this injustice.

Getting to serious things, I have a couple of female friends. It is the time when we fill each others' slam books. I read a couple of girls' slam book (which I was not supposed too. He he) and I found common messages such as ' Love youuuu' and 'Mwahhhhh.' (Please do notice that each ending letter of the ending word is extended. Typical girls stuff.) However, if any GUY had written the same words in another guy's slam book, what would have been the reaction? I don't think I need to explain. You all know well. He would be termed sophisticatedly 'GAY' or in gawahti language, a ' GUD .' That's not fair, right? I mean if girls can say the same things, why can't we? And it is not that girls have a right to say it from their birth. Someone must have started it. Even a guy must have started using the same phrases, but as a girl had already started using the same phrase, he would be heckled and teased till he would be frustrated of his life!!!!

Another example. That of holding hands. I pointed this put in our school magazine too. If a girl holds another girls hand, its OK. But if a guy holds another guys hands, its not. Why these double standards? I have asked some girls about this too, but the answer I get is ' It is girly stuff . Guys are not supposed to say it.' WHY?

Hey, don't get me wrong here. I don't say we want to do all those things. But the fact is that, if girls do something that boys do, then they are called ' tomboys' which is not derogatory and is cool with everyone. However, if guys start doing something that girls do, then they are heckled. I mean can't we wear pink shirts? Blue is said to be a guy colour, but girls do wear blue tops. WHY THIS INJUSTICE.....?

P.S- I know the injustice I am talking about is quite trivial. This blog is to be taken in a light-hearted manner. So if any pro-women organization reads this blog( highly unlikely) please notice that it is light hearted and does not intend any hurt to the women community.

Random thoughts....

Its the time of the year, when we students burn our midnight lamps, forcefully or voluntarily. To all those who believe that we seriously study for those 3-4 hours, I would want them to actually see us studying. Studying in the night is a very useful way of making your parents believe, that you have actually studied. The fact that no one is awake at night to see whether we are actually studying, is the biggest advantage. Our poor parents and teachers think that we study till 2 am in the night, but actually we only stay awake till 2 am. Do we ever study then at night? *Conditions Apply. If we have finished dreaming about girls, sports, TV serials and GETTING 90% MARKS, we MAY sit to study. However, it depends from student to student. Some people like me, get the inner feeling to study and we do. But the besharams are up watching TV or making khayali pulav.

All those students who did not know this technique, can use it because it is quite useful. Your parents can ask you no question about when you slept, and they can't doubt you either because you can always tell them that they themselves were not awake.

Talking about midnight, the place where I sit to study (which is contradictorily the place where I also sleep. i.e my bed) gives me a great view. I get a very rare view: that of the canopy of the trees against the black sky. It is really a rare view nowadays to look out of your window and see the sky. Nowadays, we only see other buildings when we look out of the window. It is really a great sight to look out of the window at the moon in the sky. Especially yesterday, when it was full moon day. It is also a great factor for disturbance. But then you can't concentrate fully on studies every time.

For almost a week, about 2 months ago, an owl used to sit on the tree near my window at 10pm. I and my sister used to sit regularly till the owl would not leave our building. Looking at the owl, I used to wonder, why it was considered as a bad omen. The owl is a majestic animal and was considered to be the wisest bird, mythologically. The owl is very serene and majestic. The first time I saw it, I was awe-struck by the sheer magnificence and respect that the bird commanded.

My First Blog

Well, this is my very first blog. I am just a 15 year old guy, studying in the tenth standard. I know, I am not supposed to write anything now, and concentrate on studies etc. However, I have to have some source of entertainment, and having deprived myself of all the games in my PC and having deactivated my Facebook account, blogging remains my only source of entertainment on the internet.
I really don't know what to write in a blog. From my past experiences of reading blogs of my teachers, I think I have to write mostly about my life experiences, my convictions etc. So here I go.

Well, I'll start with my prelims. I just finished my preliminary exams in school and most of the results are out. The results have been satisfying and I can finally see my hard work paying off. The life of an average tenth standard life sucks! I find tenth standard to be very ordinary and without any pressure, thanks to my parents. Most of the 'stress' of tenth standard is created by the parents themselves. In actuality, there is no stress in the tenth standard. Even though, I have not passed out of tenth standard yet, I can assure you from my and others' experiences that daily studying even for 3 hours is enough. However, it has to be proper, quality three hours. However, it isn't that easy, because distractions are endless. From the internet to computer games to TV shows like Roadies etc. and of course, mother of all, GIRLS!! It is only at this age, do we realize attraction towards girls, which is a major disturbance. I wouldn't discourage anyone from talking or even being friends with girls, but it should be controlled. Otherwise you are wasting your time.

If you are aiming at something above 90% then you have to be ready to sacrifice. If you love playing football, then you have to sacrifice it. You obviously can't get everything. And if your answer to giving up your favourite activity is NO then you won't get 90% Because you can't get success without sacrificing. Then its up to you. Whether you want 90% or your past time. Whether you want to work hard for the next 8 years and spend the rest of your life happilly, or enjoying these 8 years and slogging out for the next 50 years. The Choice is Yours!!

PS- I would love to have some comments. Especially, negative ones. That's because I am new to blogging and would like to get some advice from you pros out there. Thanks a lot for reading ( if you did read, that is)