The Mirror...

"The Mirror never lies"

"Of course it doesn't. A mirror never lies. It shows who we are" he said, trying to keep abreast with his ageing companion.
"No, ya don't understand. 'Tis a bad mirror. What you mean is in a physical sense. I mean it in a whole sense" the old man said, trying hard to dissuade him.
"You worry too much, old fellow. I didn't come half the way across the world to Mexico just to be daunted by folklore" he replied, laughing.
"The mirror is bad omen. People lose their minds over it. They never recover from it and slowly fade into oblivion"
"I like doing things that normal people can't do. That's what adventure is all about, old man," he replied. "Now how far away is this place?"
"We're still in the main city. It's out there in the desert, inside a cave. No one knows where it came from. It is still an hour's drive away," the old man replied, letting go of his rhetoric as he realized it wouldn't make any difference to the young traveler.
"Tell me about yourself young man. There's still time to kill and better spend it in knowing each other than silence. After all, I can then tell the local media about the latest victim of The Mirror, spiced with exaggerations", the old man grinned.
The young traveler scowled.
"Maybe you should have a look at the Mirror!" he replied.
"I'm prudent enough to know who I am and who I am not" the old man replied, suddenly becoming serious.
"But if you do know who you are, in this case being evil, you shouldn't be surprised by what the mirror has to show you, right?" the young traveler asked.
"It is said that the mirror shows you who you are. Men always underestimate who they are. They don't think objectively. They know their deeds, but they do not know the consequences of those deeds. Because men do not have to suffer for their deeds, not immediately at least. Man always thinks too much of himself. The Mirror makes you realize who you really are, and most men aren't able to handle that" the old man explained.
"You mean there isn't any man who hasn't came out sane? There isn't any good person in this world?" asked the traveler.
"There might be. After the Mirror became famous, there are many people like you; some to introspect, some to prove the Mirror to be a hoax. Very few come out sane, but they don't speak much. Since they come out sane, they must be the good ones. But the mirror corrupts them too. Pride attracts men, like honey attracts the flies. So it's a two sided sword. Only one thing is certain. Doom." the old man said.
The young traveler didn't speak any further. He looked out the window, at the never ending desert pondering the outcome of this journey. The old man's words had got to him. The odds were against him. But he remembered his objective. The truth. His whole life had been a conquest of the truth. The more he had dug in to the truth, the more he got confused. There had to be an objective truth and maybe this is where he will find it.
Whether it be the truth about him or the truth about the Universe, he wanted it. He didn't mind losing his mind, losing his life for it. They say that every one gets a glimpse of the Truth when they died;the moment before dying. But it is too late by then and regret fills their mind as the last known feeling before they are free.
"Having second thoughts young man? We're getting close. Say the word and we'll turn around" the old man said.
"No. We go on. How long have you been doing this?" asked the young traveler, keen to change the topic.
"Since the Mirror came to be discovered. About two years ago. A wanderer came about it when he was looking for shelter in a cave. He became insane as usual but somehow made way into town. He kept shouting about the Mirror and people kept ignoring him. I was intrigued by what he said and took him along to locate it. He was delirious. Kept blabbering about his sins, about how he was the devil. How he had done so much wrong. How he didn't deserve to live. I was prudent enough not to look in the mirror myself. Though I was smart enough to make it into a trade" the old man grinned.
"Curse you, old man!"
"We're almost there. See that small hill over there? There's a cave on the west side of the hill. I'll leave you by the roadside and wait for you. If you come that is" said the old man.
The young traveler nodded in agreement.
The car stopped a few feet away from the hill.
"Good luck boy" said the old man.
The young traveler acknowledged it and got out of the car. Without looking back he started walking around the perimeter of the hill towards the west trying to locate an opening that would be the cave. It was very quiet with only the wind to break the silence. A thousand thoughts wandered through the young man's mind. Doubts, fears and random memories of his loved ones. As he turned a sharp corner, he spotted a small opening, wide enough only to permit one person at a time; one slim person that too.
Sloths aren't allowed? One of the deadly sins I guess!
The opening was high enough to pass comfortably without bending one's head. It seemed all black and he could spot no light source inside. He walked inside with trepidation, one small step at a time. It was very dark and he could hardly see. He switched on his torch light but the cave was deeper than the light could pierce. He walked on for about a hundred feet before he found the tunnel like structure open up into a big hall. A speckled light reflected towards his left.
The Mirror!
This is it, he thought.
He walked towards the Mirror and moved around to face it.
The glare of his torchlight was too much and he couldn't see anything. He pointed it towards the ceiling and a dim light filled the small hall.
That is me. Me in my hiking shorts and shoes and a torchlight on my head.
The next image was of him as a baby. Him and his sister. Him hitting his sister. Him apologizing to her. Him hugging her. Him going to school.
It was his whole life in a fast forward motion. Every notable event, good or bad, the images of those whizzed through the mirror. But it was the feeling of those events from the opposite person's point of view was what he felt.
It was him hitting his sister, but it was the slap himself that he felt. It was him apologizing to his sister that he saw but it was not guilt that he felt at saying sorry but the heart warming feeling of forgiving someone that he felt. A flurry of emotions and feelings filled his body. The cold shoulder that he gave someone came back to hit him. The hurt at being made fun of by him came back at him. The feeling of being envied, the feeling of an apology not being accepted, the relief of the stomach when food entered the body after starving for days, the notion of being grateful all of them came rushing to him, concentrated in form and concentrated in the short time span that it came to. The Mirror was objective, and it showed every thing in one's life, every thing one has ever made the other person feel. The more a person did good, the more he felt good and it wasn't his feeling that counted, it was the other person's feeling that he felt. When he gave a young child a vada pav, it was the immense feeling of gratitude that the child experienced, that he experienced. When he did bad to someone, it wasn't what he felt, but the immense hurt the other person felt that he experienced.
It is said that no one survive the Mirror because no one is equipped to ponder and comprehend over the deeds we've performed over our life in such a long time. It is said that the Mirror was just a concentrated form of Karma.
Karma hits a person slowly and yet it hurts so much. The Mirror is deadly in that sense...


P.S : Too much of intense stuff. Will try and write light hearted stuff further :P

Musings...

New Year's eve is always a great time to do some self introspection. No it's not what you think. One can be all 'deep' and 'intellectual' without the influence of alcohol. However, there is something about this meaningless and arbitrary event which brings out the best in creative thought, as we try and take a hold of the year that went by, the year to come, and without realizing, we go far beyond the threshold of our lives and wonder about things in general ; Musings.

It always baffles me how paradoxical life is. Or how life as I understand it, is. In mythology they say that, the human form on Earth is the lowest form that a soul can take, except animals of course. On the Earth, humans may be the superior species, but the objective of a human soul is to be free from the cycle of rebirth. This requires the evolving of our consciousness so that we may see much beyond what is seen (talking in riddles I know). Although this maybe just a Hindu perspective, even in other religions, a lot of stress is placed on how we should listen to the inner voice inside us. Our conscience. Having an active conscious is a trickier thing than it may seem. Most of us live our lives never having heard our conscience ever. Yes, we probably heard it in our childhood, but we hardly hear it anymore. So basically, the more we listen to our conscience, the higher beings we become (I don't mean it in a proud way, but a way in which we may be insulated from pain and suffering of the world)

Consider this scenario.

We have three people and they have awesome names A, B and C. A has an active conscience, B has a passive conscience and C, well we don't know about C.
C is the butt of all jokes in class. Every person makes fun of him/her. B is the front runner while making jokes about C. In the spur of the moment, A makes fun of C too!

A immediately knows that what he/she did was wrong because their conscience played it out to them. What A goes through from hereafter, is mental trauma, an enormous amount of guilt and self cursing. What B goes through, is fun, happiness,laughing etc. My example must sound childish to you. It might even sound impossible that a person must beat himself up for just making fun of another person. But as I said, the conscience is a tricky thing. It hits you like nothing else.

The point I'm trying to make is that we think of happiness as the aim of my life. Whatever we want to be, whether it be rich, successful, whatever our aims may be, in the end we want to be happy. B remained happy, oblivious to his/her conscience or the feelings of others. A was tormented by his/her guilt.

What are we missing here? Having an active conscience makes you a better human being. But it also means that you'll likely be tormented by the same conscience, questioning every thing that you do, the right and wrong of it, and if by chance you did something wrong, beat yourself over it. So is it that good people can't be happy? Do they live their life tormented by their conscience reminding them of their misdemeanors?  Redemption, you may say! Apologize to the concerned party and all will be well. But sometimes that balm also doesn't work on the conscience.

Coming back to the thick of it, is it safe to draw an analogy that good people are seldom happy? Or do we need to redefine every thing? Do we redefine what goodness is? Or is happiness overrated? Is it not the keystone to living a good life? Why is the Universe paradoxical?

Food for thought!

The Before-Life

It is weird not to hear sounds. The most natural sounds that we take for granted, when removed out of the equation, form a sound vacuum so uncomfortable that one cannot bear it. As I sat there in the cold sand, a vast ocean before me, without a crest or a trough, an off white mist in the distant horizon which blurred the lines where the ocean ended and the sky started, I experienced something of that sort.

It was early morning, judging by the exposure of sunlight. The waves slowly formed and crashed against the sand and that was the only sound I could hear. Birds soared above in the sky, in varying figures, but I did not hear their cacophony. I was all alone on the beach, as alone as when we come into the world and as alone as when we leave it. Was I entering this world? Or was I leaving it?

A distant figure caught my attention. In a place where I could not spot a single human, the mind quickly notices someone of your species. The lady was still at a distance, clad in a white robe, emitting an aura around her which was hard to miss. She was walking in my direction, and something drew me to her. She had kind dark brown eyes, the ones which could penetrate through the soul and see what lay inside; jet black hair, and she carried a radiant smile which could ease a person of all worry.

"Who are you?", I asked her.
"I am you", she replied with the same smile which made me feel dumb for asking the question, despite not knowing what the answer meant.
I contemplated replying in an appropriate manner,  but was broken off my train of thought.
"You didn't understand what I just said right?", she interrupted me.
"No", I replied with a tinge of embarrassment.
"Why didn't you ask for a further explanation?"
"Because I didn't want to look dumb"
"Are you dumb?"
"I don't think so"
"Then what does it matter what I think about you?"
"Umm okay. So who are you?"
"I am you"
"I still don't follow"
"You will, one day. Hopefully"
"So you're gonna advise me to ask questions, but not give the answers?"
"The other important thing about asking a question, is who you ask it to. Ask a goldsmith about software, and he'll be as helpful to you, as I am to you"
"Are you a goldsmith?"
"I am you"
"Okay. So who should I ask this to?"
"Who else is here, beside me?"
"Me?"
"Correct! Every thing is inside you. Do you think I am real?"
"I'm inclined to say no"
"Correct. As I said, I am you"
"So I'm talking to myself, about talking to myself?"
"Weird, right?", she grinned
"Okay. So let me make the most of this and ask you some top ten questions. The ones which all of us wonder at some point or the other" I continued, not sharing or understanding her sense of humor.
"Go on"
"What is life all about?"
"Do you see those waves? Notice the piercing silence when all the waves have subsided and a new wave is just going to crash into the sand. Life is all about that piercing silence."
"Life is about being in silence? I don't understand"
"Aah. You've learnt to ask questions. Good. I meant it metaphorically. Is it not true, that the piercing silence before the crash of the waves, lasts a split second while the cacophony lasts a while longer?"
"Yes"
"Think of your life as this beach. Life is about those moments of The Zero Level, before the illusion of the world (in form of the crashing waves) disturb the Zero Level. Life is all about maximizing those Zero Level moments and maintaining some of the calmness even while being surrounded by the world. When we are surrounded by the world, we even forget that the Zero Level exists."
"What's the Zero Level?"
"Well it's when your mind has no thoughts. It's in a blank state"
"How can I know what life is all about without any thoughts?" I wondered.
"Sounds counter intuitive right? As you grow, you'll learn that life is counter-intuitive. The more you expect, the more you are disappointed. The more you ask, the less you get. The more you are away from the worldly objects, the more you are at peace with yourself. The richest men, never wanted to become the richest men. It was a by product. The most successful men, did not want to be successful. It was not their driving force. Much like quantum mechanics, our souls are also counter intuitive. After all, quantum mechanics is the study of how subatomic particles behave. Why then, can't it be extrapolated to our soul?"
"Isn't it risky, not to want money when you want it?" I asked
"That's the catch. It's no use pretending not to want money, when you secretly desire to have it. Quantum mechanics won't be fooled by it. The catch is to really not want money, or any worldly object for that matter."
"And if I don't want it, I'll get it?"
"Probably. But it won't matter. You don't want it anyway. By freeing yourself of wants and desires, you free yourself to be happy. After all, happiness is what you make of it. By attaching your happiness to worldly objects, you make your definition of happiness smaller and smaller. Let it be boundless, much like this vast ocean which may well extend beyond this horizon, merge into the sky above and envelope your life."
"Wow!" I exclaimed.
"I know right?!", she grinned. "It's a pity you'll forget all this when you're born into this world."